Mom Stuff

  • Haphazard Hospitality

    As a child, I loved to watch my mother visit with friends in our living room. I enjoyed listening to adult conversations and laughter. I delighted in the grown-up snacks and treats. I used to beg my mother to have friends over. I didn’t really care who as long as I could participate or lounge around in their presence. What I hated about having company was the cleaning beforehand. I despised the dusting and polishing. I loathed shopping, staying neat and waiting. I remember haughtily tell my mother “When I grow up I will always be prepared for guests. I will have my living room clean. Candles lit and glowing. Music…

  • Tube Tied

    Strapped down, drugged, and tired I watched as my husband left the room. I still split open. Him carrying my beautiful Sprout. The pressure of hands diligently putting me back together tugged at my empty belly. I kept my breathing light, waiting for the words that I’d prayed for, I’d begged for. When they came, I was left dumb. “Are you certain you want to do this?” mumbled the voice of my OB, bringing me the opportunity I’d longed for in secret. The opportunity, I reluctantly and painfully, turned down. The room went to work and I asked my anesthesiologist to put my guilt-ridden heart to sleep. After not desiring…