Newbie Author Struggles

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Once upon a time, waiting in my inbox, I was summoned to attend a webinar on how to publish a book.  I’ve always loved to write.  But once I birthed my littles, helping them grow closer to Christ became my passion and I forgot all about my once favorite past time.  The seminar rekindled my literary love and I felt inspired to write.

Fast forward and here I sit, an author.  1 year old and growing.  But the writing business wasn’t the glamour parade I’d imagined it would be. Here are my top four struggles during my first twelve months of author life.  

1-Treating Writing like a Job

The pure excitement of creating and forming new worlds and characters evaporated soon after my first book hit the press.  I learned marketing was a full-time job within itself and cut into my typing time. But how was anyone going to find my amazing book baby if I was too nervous to share it.

But that wasn’t all. Unfortunately, to keep the funding coming, I had to learn how to treat writing as a business.  Even to the point of starting up my own business to help keep tax records and earnings straight. Add to marketing and filing, the stress of turning out work and the pressure sucked at the pleasure and almost undid my desire to keep writing.

2- Editing Woes

My first book is a short story in prose form. It’s made up of barely more than 100 pages.  Editing was easy.  It was also inexpensive. I did many rounds, myself, and then hit up a freelancing editor to do the final proofreading. I published knowing it wasn’t flawless but it had the approval of another, unbiased, pair of eyes.

But now my projects are novel length and at least 50,000 words a piece. Editing is much more time consuming and much, much more expensive.  So costly, in fact, that for my second book I had to forgo professional editing.  So, I prayed and begged God for help.  I took any I could get. I stayed up nights reading, correcting, and re-reading my own work.  I knew God had blessed me with a story and it was my job to make it as close to perfect as I could.  Until my books sell themselves and I can afford paid help, the work remains on me and editing is a nemesis. Especially when all I want to do is get back to creating.

3- Justifying the Effort

Writing takes time.  It takes mental space and solitude.  I’m a mom. Rarely do I have one of those three ingrediants. I’m also a homeschooler.  So my energy and brain power is turned first to the schooling of my kiddos. When that mission is completed, for the day, the thought of writing is exhausting. My brain feels like pudding and my plots appear just as muddy. 

When I do carve out writing time, a shadow perches on my shoulder.  I begin to feel guilty.  The laundry sits in piles of dirty and clean. Dishes rest in their own filth.  My kids sit staring at their devices and my husband naps on the couch.  I get a nibbling on my mom guilt.  I should be spending more time with them instead of the imaginary people that live in my imaginary world.  I should be ministering to them more.  I should be guiding them more.  I should be playing with them more.  MORE MORE MORE

The guilt almost gobbles me up.  Except for, when  I slow down and talk to God, He reminds me I always feel like I should be doing more. He tells me of the many times I cry out and beg Him for forgiveness because I haven’t done more. He reminds me that I was made for this purpose and the works placed before me.  He reminds me writing isn’t just a dream I have for me but it’s one He has for me, as well. 

4- The Comparison Crazies

I believe women compare themselves to each other, naturally.  I also believe that moms are super hard on each other. Homeschoolers do this really well. They judge themselves by other woman’s children’s giftings. It’s a mess.  

As a writer, I often fall prey to the comparison crazies.  I’m looking up my sales data, checking my website stats, and reading reviews all to help grow my business.  But usually, I walk away from my laptop deflated and discouraged.  Some newer author has sold a bigillion (a technical term for a huge amount) more copies of their book than I have. Another blogger makes $20,000 a month from their fledgling site and I’m thrilled to pull $20 a year.

The list grows and grows and the anxiety mounts.  Until I put an end to it.  This business, this lifestyle, is not about the now numbers.  It’s about creating an audience that you can bless. It’s fostering relationships with your readers.  And like any new relationship, it takes time.  Comparision steals joy. It nurtures bitterness and it feeds off of one’s creative energy.  So I choose to reject it.

These are just four of the struggles I encountered my first year as an author.  What was a struggle for you?  Which struggle stops you from writing? Share your struggles in the comments.