Drafts are done. Editing is taking place. Beautiful cover is getting ready. And the waiting is agonizing! ACK! It’s insomnia-inducing!
Edit this, rewrite that, submit again… repeat repeat repeat.
And the entire time my excitement and delight, in my tiny creation, waxes, and wanes. Super high one moment, crashing into despair the next. Where dreams once freely flowed, doubt rumbles and thunders. Mental questions and accusations throw hysterics in the wee morning hours.
Will the cover attract buyers?
Does it matter if I never make a cent?
Is this really the work you want to release, first?
It’s not perfect and it shows!
Didn’t you want to write a novel? This isn’t a novel. At the very best it’s a novella.
Will anyone ever read it? Oh, biscuits! What if someone reads it?!
Has it been worth the effort?
Will friends know it’s a fiction and is not related to them in the slightest? Even if character b has the same hair color they do?
Will it offend anyone or, worse, truly hurt anyone’s feelings?
Did I thank enough people?
Did I thank too many?
Is my author bio pompous?
What happens if I never get the formatting right?
Can I handle bad reviews?
Are there going to be ANY reviews?
What if my closest comrades hate it?
Maybe, it might encourage 1 person? That’s worth it, right? Am I truly content to release a tiny part of my heart out to the public and not ever KNOW if it did any good?
Will this be the last thing I ever write?
Will I be a REAL writer, once publishing is complete?
ARGH! The frustration turns my stomach. Coffee can’t console my anxiousness. It only stimulates more space for worry.
All writers must go through similar emotions, right? Even term papers carry emotional weight within their paragraphs. How much more an entire world spawned from one’s heart and forced into words?
I relax and release in this, I have always dreamed of asking these very questions. These questions mean I’m closer than ever to my hopes. Just a few months ago I was nowhere near asking them. I am in motion. Active. Doing and being. I believe God smiles at me as I write and fret over fonts and phrases. After all, I’ve found something to put my hands to and I’m giving it my best. I do not assume that this work is THE WORK God has in store for me. But I do believe His hands are in it and, most importantly, around me. I do believe He’s cheering me on. The waiting is worth it when I can imagine His smile upon me.
Have you stepped out and started something scary, only to have doubt screech and simmer during the waiting season? Don’t give up. Refocus. Cling to and be carried by the One who controls the outcome.
Thanks to my readers for their encouraging words and support.
If you haven’t had a chance to sign up for the Book Launch Team, and still want to, follow the link below. It will take you to my first book post and the contact info within it.
CLICK HERE: My Old New Project